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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
The sole purpose of a child`s middle name, is so he can tell when he`s really in trouble.
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.