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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!