Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
"I knew that..." -Me, after every Jeopardy question.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don`t need to dress half naked to get a man`s attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.