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It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
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If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
It`s all rainbows and sunshine until he breaks your heart, then it`s voodoo dolls and arson reports.
My doctor told me to eat more bacon cheeseburgers. Well, what he technically said was to eat "less pizza", but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.