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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
It`s amazing how tired I get from how little I do.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...