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I like the parts of the day when food happens.
Jesus is coming.... look busy
Does the Food Network deliver?
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.