Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
Are you reading this from a toilet? Iām writing this from one.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Facebook.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Question everything...Or should you?
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can`t make coffee.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"