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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?