Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
I wish my kids came with a handbook.... Hardcover, preferably. So I have something to hit them with.
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
Hard butter is the devil.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.