Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
Singing passionately in the shower: Pretty good idea. Dancing passionately in the shower: Not so much.
I don`t have ADHD. I have ADOLS. Attention deficit..OH LOOK! Skittles!
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
If you are really bored, I recommend mass texting all of your exes "I`m ready to give it another shot" and then get ready for the ride of your life
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.