Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
Your silent treatment should be accompanied by a disappearing act.
My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device. I call it "No air conditioning".
How I talk: 25% swearing, 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
Anyone going to stare at their phones anywhere cool this weekend?
Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you`re doing it.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.