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Coffee – because most people frown on alcohol first thing in the morning.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting . . . I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.