Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?