Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
I don`t mind people sneezing in public. It`s that "Pre-sneeze face" they make that scares the hell out of me.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.