Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn`t reach the cookies in the cupboard.
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
the kids next door have challenged me to a water balloon fight. just updating my status while waiting on the water to boil.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
I am used but in good condition.
My grandpa has Alzheimer`s, so I just keep telling him he owes me twenty bucks.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Learning to "stop drop and roll" in elementary school lead me to believe catching on fire would be a much more frequent problem in life.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.