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one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
It`s always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing domino`s"
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.