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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Whoever gets the gift from me that has scissors under the wrapping paper, I`m going to need those back.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
You`re an intellectual who doesn`t read books? I completely understand because I`m an athlete that rarely moves.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?" but they don`t stop long enough for you to reply!