Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.