Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don`t believe you."
That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Check this one out.........1
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.