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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
Can`t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
I wish I could commute by roller coaster.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
If I drove a UPS truck there’s a 100% chance I would fall out of the truck when I turned corners.
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!