Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
I love all religions. They bring holidays .
Facebook posts with 12 hashtags, who the f*ck are you trying to reach?
Doctor: How`s your headache? Me: She`s out of town.
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.