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Marriage. Because your sh!tty day doesn`t have to end at work.
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
I have nothing!
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
Sometimes you just need to do something stupid while sober so that people will leave you alone about your drinking.