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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
No body on there deathbed said I wish I had spent more time at work
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
To stupidity ... And beyond!!
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!