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Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Friends with benefits? What, like you can provide dental insurance?
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
They say when you meet the right one you will know right away. But why does it take 3 years to know it’s the wrong one?
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.