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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
Relationship status: If I slam on my brakes really hard... The seatbelt hugs me back.
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
Never underestimate the power of cleavage.