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I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse is pretending Iām not excited.
Life is funnier when you have a dirty mind. ;)
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness".
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?