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If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
So Stevie Wonder is going to become father to triplets next year. I guess he didn`t see that coming...
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.