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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Dude, I can`t post AND know when the light turns green. I`m pretty, not magical.
If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will describe me as "quiet"
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.