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Multi-tasking: the art of screwing up everything all at once.
Yes I`m still bitter about my name not being mentioned in "Mambo No. 5"
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Went to the virgin islands, now they are just the islands.
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
What’s the answer to this question?
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!