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It`s what`s on the inside that counts... *Except chocolate covered raisins.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
I like to start my morning off with a good nap.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
If my memory gets any worse I`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.