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I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
Humans pretend to be smart, but we still look at the ceiling when we hear a noise upstairs like we just developed x-ray vision.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
"Never pick a fight with an ugly person. They`ve got nothing to lose." -Robin Williams
I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.