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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
Stress balls work really well when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
So you think you can study with your facebook activated? That`s cute! ^.^
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just that I don’t want a minivan.
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.
I always ask my waitress to name everything that comes in the salad then I respond “OK perfect, I want a cheeseburger with none of that on it.”