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Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
I want a doorbell that makes the sound of someone knocking on the door.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
Very little scares me. So does very big.
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
If I get hurt playing Wii Sports, that`s still a sports injury, right?
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.