Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there`s an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.