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Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
pudding... thats always a funny word
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........