Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
"No comment" - said no woman, ever
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
They should start selling Photoshop CD`s at cosmetic shops.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
I`m not drunk ... But I`m working on it.
Drinking always starts out as the best idea you’ve ever had.
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
"I wanna f*ck you so hard right now." "What?!?" "Damn autocorrect, I meant hey."
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!