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Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
Why doesn`t someone invent a clear toaster? Then you could see how toasted your toast is while it`s toasting.
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.