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Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
You know you watch too much porn when you go to a hospital expecting a threesome.
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Today I learned that not all people like ventriloquists. Particularly my gynecologist.
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
wife: It`s ruining date night me: It`s ruining date night because you`re letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: Just drop me off on the corner
A smile is the same in every language, I`m pretty sure the pee pee dance is too
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
I have decided to follow my dreams.....starting with that one where I am naked at work.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!