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Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
I am used but in good condition.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
Whenever you hear the phrase "Oh no he didn`t" you can rest assured that he did.
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe