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There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
β€œHi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said β€œwhat?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.