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There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
Whenever someone says, "Have a good one." I always respond with, "I have a good one, I just wish it were longer."
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
The Bishop came to our church today, but I think he was an imposter. He never once moved diagonally.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.