Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Tonight I plan on drinking until I`m someone else`s problem
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
I met a girl who told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he just didn`t work out. Which is when I knew, she wasn`t the one for me, as I hate to work out as well.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....