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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
I hate when I’m alone in the dark and my brain says, “Hey, you know what we haven’t thought about in a while? Ghosts..”
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I`m not your boyfriend.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.