Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
People: What a bunch of bastards!
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.
My pants are 75% off.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
I am upping my standards.. so up yours!
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."