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My bank account is more like a countdown to homelessness.
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
*spits out animal cracker* This doesn`t even taste like hippo.