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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
All the guys in working out photos look like they`re straining or in pain, but there`s lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy. Just saying.
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat? Apparently banned from the petting zoo...
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I WON THE LOTTERY, SCREW YOU ALL! ... Sorry, just practicing
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.