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Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea!
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
I legitimately thought I was having a pretty productive day until I realized my phone is set to west coast time and I`m in New York.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.