Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
You ever wonder why it`s only women who need exorcisms?
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
If there`s one thing I`ve learnt in life it`s to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?