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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.