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life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
I found a bottle of vodka under my bed, skittles under my pillow, & boxes of noodles in my closet. I`m like a fcuking alcoholic squirrel.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Don`t sugar-coat it, I`ll just lick that off....
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.
Life is too short for fake butter, cheese or people.