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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
No, I didn`t say I was a taxidermist. I said, I can stuff your beaver.
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
I really don`t have time for people that don`t find me hilarious.
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Hard liquor because I don`t don`t have time or patience to sit around drinking 9 bottles of wine every day
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Doormats are a gateway rug.