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Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook statuses; it simply makes me not care what you think of them…
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.