Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Take my advice, I’m not going to use it.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
Some of my friendships are bad for my liver.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.