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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
is available for rebound sex.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
My tricks aren`t for kids.
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
I`ve stopped drinking for good. I only drink for evil now.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.