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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
So....if the cup is only half full....I suggest buying a smaller bra
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
Go ahead caller 9!!
So, is Dora 18 yet, or what? Asking for a friend.
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.