Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Have you ever woke up pissed at someone because of something they did in your dream?
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
Being an adult is the worst idea ever.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.