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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Leaving your window open for an hour and the cast from f*cking Bugs Life decided to start producing their second movie.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
Yes, it`s a bad time. Let me call you back when I`m not feeling so honest.
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.