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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
Wish my girlfriend was awake, could really do with a sandwich right now.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?