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You know you`ve won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
Diet Tip #63 : Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I never let anyone see me eat junk food. Not because I`m afraid they will judge me. I just don`t want to share.
Home alone… Time to teach the neighbors what good music sounds like!
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life