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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!