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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
When the hostess at the restaurant says “table for 2?” I always like to look surprised and whisper “you can see her too?”
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
I cant wait to show everyone at work my new cough
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.