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Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a normal pigeon.
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!