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From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
My friend works at a rubber dog poop factory. He`ll never get rich, but he makes doo.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.