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They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
The race to get Dad a Christmas present usually ends in a tie.
I`m posing nude for an art class. No one asked me to. I think they`re making ceramic bowls.