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That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
If you’re a douchebag, it’s so easy to find the right hat.