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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.