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Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can`t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
I bet my church never imagined it was even possible to twerk to Amazing Grace.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?
That moment of shame when an automatic door doesn`t open for you