Daily Silly Status

I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.

Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?

I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it

If you have alphabet fridge magnets and morals, you probably shouldn`t invite me over.

I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.

Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(

Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.

The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...

Here`s a fun idea: Before your next party or get together, buy some liver and other cuts of meat. Put them in clear containers and put labels on them with random names ("Clarice", "Richard", etc). Then put them in your refrigerator. For even more fun, put some empty containers beside the fridge with your friends` names on them....

I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers

They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.

The real heroes are the people who live within driving distance of their in-laws.

I think some people just log into Facebook just to send me game requests.

The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.

If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....