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If someday we all go to prison for downloading Movies and TV shows, I just hope they split us up by genre.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
I knew I`d be a great parent. Kids aren`t nearly as difficult to take care of as my drunk friends.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Being normal is boring.
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.