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Bologna sandwiches are parents way of saying... it`s my legal obligation to feed you something.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
My new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by the end of summer. I`ve only got 40 pounds to go.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"
I`m gonna just take a quick nap before I go to bed.
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat